Friday, January 02, 2004

More Wit and Wisdom from the NBA

"I'd probably hire me." -- George Karl, on who he'd hire to replace him in Milwaukee.

"When people talk about Katharine Hepburn, she's called an icon. She had an affair for 20 years, but Kobe is called a slut. And what about Rudolph Giuliani? He had two women fighting to get into the (New York) mayor's mansion. But Kobe is a slut." -- Charles Barkley.

"If I had a player out of line, I would bench him. That's all you can do, bench him. You don't kiss nobody's rear end, because it stinks." -- Ron Artest.

"They make teriyaki here?" -- Chris Kaman, on visiting Japan.

"Even last year I was watching the Celtics and I could see the offense was disheveled." -- Kenny Anderson.

"Can the Frenchman come in?" -- Gregg Popovich, to President George W. Bush, regarding Tony Parker, when the Spurs visited the White House.

"Every year, when I'm with a new team, that's one less team that doesn't know that I can't play. There are 5,000 players in America better than me that aren't in the NBA." -- Mark Pope, Denver Nuggets.

"It's not like he is playing a blind man or a guy with an English accent. It should come naturally." -- Calvin Andrews, Carmelo Anthony's agent, on 'Melo making his acting debut playing a basketball star from a gritty background.

"[We're] running on bloody stumps because we are shooting ourselves in the foot repeatedly." -- Jeff Van Gundy, on the Rockets effort.

"He's keeping the fire at my back the whole time and I've got one glass of water. You have to understand, I've got one glass of water and he's got a whole lot of fire." -- Yao Ming, on Jeff Van Gundy.

"Dennis Rodman may be incoherent for much of ESPN's reality side show about his life, but you still have a better chance of understanding him than Stephen A. Smith." -- Peter Vecsey.

"Those Europeans, they know how to negotiate." -- Donyell Marshall, on buying number 42 from new teammate Mengke "The Decepticon" Bateer, who is actually Mongolian.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Yesterday, the police in Lincoln, Nebraska ticketed Melissa Harrington for public nudity. The catch? They ticketed her based on nude photos from her Web site, not based on any complaints.

Just how did the police run across those photos? Police spokesmen were silent on the subject.

Harrington has sworn to fight the charges, and is accepting donations to her legal defense fund. Where's the ACLU when you need them?

Monday, December 29, 2003

Happy Holidays from the NBA

Lang Whitaker at Slam Online has compiled a list of the top NBA quotes from the first half of 2003. For those of you who are too lazy to check out the actual article, here is a sampling of my favorites:

"When I hit it I heard the crowd going crazy and I was like, 'Wow, that was a sweet jumper, they must have liked that one.' I had no clue." -- Matt Harpring, on receiving a pass from Mark Jackson and making the jumper that gave Jackson his 10,000th career assist.

"That didn't bother me. I am not going to worry about a guy trying to be tough with a pink tie on." -- Ben Wallace, on the injured Marcus Fizer acting like he was going to come off the Bulls bench and fight.

"To make that type of analogy actually just shows stupidity. You've got to realize, this is the same guy who said he wanted to play in Madison Square Garden because of the aroma. He meant 'aura' but he said 'aroma.' So you've got to put everything in perspective." -- Flip Saunders, on Stephon Marbury saying that Amare Stoudemire is better than Kevin Garnett.

"We try to treat the road like it's a home game. We ain't got no fans at home, neither." -- Dion Glover, on the Hawks.

"I kind of knew Cleveland was going to get the No. 1 pick. I think they rigged it. No, don't quote me on that." -- Carmelo Anthony.

"Sometimes I look like I was under interrogation. Some people just don't look good in clothes. In New York, Armani and all those clothing people used to call me up and tried to pay me not to wear their clothes. This is as good as it's going to get...and then it's all downhill. I'll be fine. I never feel as bad as I look." -- Jeff Van Gundy.

"I would tell any free agent not to sign with them because you can't trust anyone in upper management. If you're in the room with them and you plan to walk out, you better face them backing out so you won't get stabbed in the back." -- Bimbo Coles, on the Cavaliers organization.

"The best day of my life was when I turned 25. That's the day my car insurance went down. Yeah, boy, I saved $1,200 that day." -- Stephen Jackson.

Then of course, there are the ever popular Ron Artest and Charles Barkley quotes:

"I've never taken medication (to control moods) in my life. Doctors have suggested it and I say, 'OK, give it to me.' But I throw it in the garbage immediately." -- Ron Artest.

"They better not put me in the All-Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing hard defense. I'll be foulin'. I'll be flagrant fouling. Everyone will be like, 'What are you doing?'" -- Ron Artest.

"I saw Charles Manson do an interview once and he sounded normal too...Ron Artest has cost that team homecourt advantage." -- Barkley.

"I never said that San Antonio had all these fat women. That has been bothering me. All these women who think I said they were fat, I apologize. Then when I go to Dallas people tell me that I have nothing good to say about Dallas. First of all I think Dallas has a good team. I feel bad they think that. You think LA has the best-looking women in the crowd... they do, but they are not real ... they are made out of plastic. For normal women, who have their own God given bodies, Dallas has the best looking women in the NBA. Unfortunately, I am not going to get to see anymore of them in Dallas." -- Barkley.