Stupid Criminal Tricks
Some idiot in Oklahoma went through the trouble of stealing 5,000 pounds of cooking grease (resale value: $380).
Amazingly enough, the fact that this very crime was featured as one of Homer Simpsons' batty get-rich-quick schemes is only the second stupidest criminal that comes to mind when reading this article.
You see, my ex-business partner's wife's ex-husband (now there's a mouthful) managed to acquire the nickname of "The Bottle Bandit." Why? He and his buddies decided to make a few bucks by renting a U-Haul, heading down to the Coca-Cola bottling plant, and stealing a truckload of empty bottles, presumably to turn in for the recycling value. To make a long story short, the police caught them (the Bottle Bandit's brother ended up being the arresting officer in another remarkable coincidence) and the case was pretty much open and shut--thanks to the fact that they found the U-Haul rental receipt in the getaway truck, which the Bottle Bandit had rented using his real name and identity.