Thursday, April 08, 2004

Spontaneous Combustion

If you think you're having trouble with your home, just be glad you don't live in the Italian village of Canneto di Caronia.

Since January, electrical objects have been spontaneously combusting--even after the power company pulled the plug. So far, scientists have been baffled.

Said the mayor, "Someone wrote to us saying the solution was to sacrifice a black goat and collect its blood. At some point, that’s going to start looking like a good idea."

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Healthy Living

In a study hailed by men everywhere, the National Cancer Institute found that men who had frequent sex were 33% less likely to develop prostate cancer.

The sound you just heard was millions of men printing out that article to take home.
You Want Tough?

This story is reminiscent of the hiker who amputated his own arm when it was trapped under a fallen rock.

A pregnant woman in rural Mexico took three slugs of liquor, then performed a caesarean section on herself with a kitchen knife and delivered a healthy baby boy.

And you're complaining about that hangnail!

Monday, April 05, 2004

Thank You For Not Smoking

The rate of heart attacks in Helena, Montana dropped by over 40% after the city instituted a ban on smoking in public places.

Critics will point out that that the sample size was small; Helena has a population of 64,000, and the drop in heart attacks represented a decrease from 7 heart attacks per month to 4.

Of course, I'll also point out that if anyone conducted a study that indicated that banning genetically modified foods cut the heart attack rate by over 40%, everyone would be howling for a ban.