For Everyone Who's Ever Been Kept Waiting In A VC's Lobby...

Maybe it isn't funny unless your in the biz, but this was the funniest thing I'd read in a long, long time. Right up there with Steve Martin's parody of a studio exec's script note on "The Passion."

"The studio is very high on Johnny Depp right now. Just saw him in "Pirates." He was hilarious. Might be right for Jesus?"

The Videogame Workout

First came Dance Dance Revolution. Now the Gamebike has debuted at E3. It's a stationary bike that doubles as a PS2 controller--the harder you pedal, the faster you go. It sounds like a step in the right direction--forget spinning, just imagine how much people would pedal in a competitive race!

Friends, Seinfeld, and Focus Groups

The always enlightening folks at The Smoking Gun have unearthed this little gem: The focus group report on the initial screening of the "Friends" pilot. The testers graded the future hit as "weak," scoring it 41 out of 100. Seinfeld also earned a similarly dismissive result.

Nonetheless, NBC decided to air both shows anyways, and the rest is history.

Stupid Criminal Tricks

Some idiot in Oklahoma went through the trouble of stealing 5,000 pounds of cooking grease (resale value: $380).

Amazingly enough, the fact that this very crime was featured as one of Homer Simpsons' batty get-rich-quick schemes is only the second stupidest criminal that comes to mind when reading this article.

You see, my ex-business partner's wife's ex-husband (now there's a mouthful) managed to acquire the nickname of "The Bottle Bandit." Why? He and his buddies decided to make a few bucks by renting a U-Haul, heading down to the Coca-Cola bottling plant, and stealing a truckload of empty bottles, presumably to turn in for the recycling value. To make a long story short, the police caught them (the Bottle Bandit's brother ended up being the arresting officer in another remarkable coincidence) and the case was pretty much open and shut--thanks to the fact that they found the U-Haul rental receipt in the getaway truck, which the Bottle Bandit had rented using his real name and identity.

Leisure Suit Larry Lives Again!

Remarkably, Activision is reviving the long-defunct Leisure Suit Larry franchise. For those who don't remember the 1990s, LSL was a tongue-in-cheek game where the titular character tried to score with women.

A couple of years ago, I was talking with an old friend about the killer app of pornographic MMOPRGs, but we concluded that graphical sophistication just wasn't sufficient. Not many men are desperate enough to derive titillation from pixelated or polygonal women.

However, I'm sure that within a few years, we will have that level of graphical sophistication, which scares the heck out of me. To quote Scott Adams, "the holodeck will be society's last invention." As the quality of graphics increases, and the sophistication of MMORPGs rises, we are rapidly approaching the point where real life just won't be able to compete.

From the "What A Way To Go" Department:

Here's another story that proves the maxim, it's funny because it isn't me. The headline says it all:

Aroused Horse Bites Man Dead

Let's try this one more time.

Let's see if the new Blogger comments functionality is working....