Here's a real doozy from "The United States of Arugula" by David Kamp, a rollicking history of gourmet cooking in America. The author is describing Wolfgang Puck's ex-wife:
"A human tornado with curtains of dark hair, a Funkadelic wardrobe, and the sexpot body and tough-chick mein of the protagonist in a women's-prison exploitation movie, Lazaroff was the id that Puck never dared unleash."
The decription is memorably recapped later on in five words: "force-of-nature scorpion woman."
The book is a must-read for anyone who loves food.
I sure do love great writing. And women's-prison exploitation movies.*
* Just kidding!