My Trip To The Cougar Convention

I recently had the pleasure (misfortune?) of attending the National Single Cougars Convention in Palo Alto as a journalist.

The resulting piece has been published. Here are some highlights (lowlights?):

"It's okay, let Mama Cougar do all the talking."

"I'm here to get laid. And you can quote me on it." When I asked how he'd found out about the convention, he replied, "My mom told me about it."

"Geeks make the best cubs," Maxi added enthusiastically. "They take direction well, and they don't realize that you're supposed take a break between orgasms."

The only sad thing is that Ramit wussed out and missed the party. His loss!

More Tales of Jason and Marissa

Recently, the kids have become obsessed with whether or not getting struck by lightning will kill a person.

I had to look up statistics that showed that over 2/3rds of people who get struck by lightning survive.

I also tried to convince them that the chances of getting struck by lightning were very remote.

"In fact," I told a sobbing Marissa, "If *anyone* in the family gets hit by lightning, I'll buy you a little car you can drive around in." (This is something she's always wanted that I've refused to buy)

All this is background to the following exchange, which took place today in the park:

Marissa: "Oh no, here comes a thunderstorm. We're going to be hit by lightning."

Jason: "Then I will be dead, dead, dead."

Marissa: "I guess that means I get a car!"